


i'll be there

by marvelinsanity



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marvel Universe, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Protective Steve Rogers, Reunions, Steve Rogers Feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:33:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28093194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvelinsanity/pseuds/marvelinsanity
Summary: even when everything seems like it’s going downhill, he’s always there to support you and have your back.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Reader
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25





	i'll be there

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Anika_Ann](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anika_Ann/gifts).



> don't forget to comment if you enjoyed :) thank u sm for reading!!!

Living alone was something you’d always dreamed of as a little girl. Leaving town, becoming successful, moving into a nice apartment and living out that life of solidarity you’d desired for as long as you could remember.

You knew you wanted to go on to do something big—to change the world, leave an impact on others’ lives. Having been drawn to the medical field for the longest time, you wasted no time in getting things done, successfully graduating early and going out into the world.

You strived to be the best version of yourself you possibly could and always looked for ways to become better—so when you were presented with the opportunity to serve on the front lines for SHIELD—you seized it right away. It was a whirlwind three years—training with your newly acquired powers—but all your hard work ultimately paid off.

From there on, you were called to join the Avengers Initiative with six other extraordinary people. You were doubtful in the beginning, having been on your own for the majority of your life. But you quickly bonded with everyone, and formed tight-knit relationships you never thought you would.

They made you realize the importance of family. In the five years following the devastation of Thanos’s snap, you leaned heavily on one another for support—Steve, mainly.

After the Avengers scattered, it was just you, him, and Natasha in the compound, making sure everything was running smoothly. Just like the old times all over again, almost—like when you were hunting for Bucky nearly a decade ago.

The final battle came and went, leaving you emotionally and physically drained. You’d lost your father figure and mentor in a short span of time, and simultaneously, began losing the will to live. You were defeated. You couldn’t look Steve in the eyes without feeling a piece of your heart break off—you couldn’t look anyone in the eyes anymore.

So you left.

You opted to retreat back to your apartment in Brooklyn—a nice, spacious yet cozy place. You shut yourself out and hid away from the world. You stopped returning Steve’s calls. Day after day you’d wake up to unopened text messages and dozens of voicemails—ranging from Steve checking in on you to ask if you were alright or if you wanted to join him for lunch—but you ignored them all.

You couldn’t bring yourself to pick up the phone, or even step outside, for that matter. Everything hurt.

And you began your downfall, burying yourself deeper within the endless, intricately spun web of darkness. A woman that was once a fierce warrior and dedicated frontline worker had lost all hope and became a hollow shell of what she used to be.

You stopped eating—barely having a few bites at meals. More often than not you’d be running on very little sleep—two uninterrupted, nightmare-free hours, if you were lucky. You’d wake up drenched in sweat, a death grip on the sheets, shivers running down your spine, with no one there to help. Visions of Natasha being thrown off the cliff to meet her untimely end, Steve dying in your arms, Tony being ripped apart by foreign alien creatures—the dark thoughts never stopped. It was like you were put on a loop.

You went through hell and back, and you went through it all alone.

The isolation began taking a toll on your mental health. Your anxiety had shot up to an all-time high and days in which you felt relaxed even in the slightest were rare, if not nonexistent.

A knock on your door snapped you out of your train of thought, and you stood up to go answer.

“…Steve?”

“Hey, Y/N. Can I come in?”

You nodded numbly, stepping aside.

You shivered as you sat back down, tucking your feet up underneath you and tightly hugging yourself. It occurred to you that you probably should get your thermostat fixed - you’d been too lazy to do so ever since it broke several weeks ago.

Steve noticed you shivering and immediately shook off his leather jacket, draping it over your trembling body. You tried not to sigh as you inhaled his fresh scent of berry aftershave- it was more soothing than you wanted to admit. When he sat next to you and wrapped an arm around you, pulling you to him, you didn’t protest. You were too tired to - you’d long since given up on fighting.

“I’m sorry I haven’t visited,” he murmured. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to come by. How’ve you been holding up?”

“I’ve been better,” you mumbled. He pulled away and took one of your hands in his, bringing it up to his lips so he could lightly kiss your knuckles. He set it back down again, rubbing circles across your palm, and you tried to ignore the sparks you felt when his skin pressed against yours.

The look of genuine concern in his eyes made your chest ache.

“I know that look,” his brows were drawn together in concern, “come on, Y/N. What’s going on? You haven’t answered any of my texts or calls. I even had Rhodes and Sam try to contact you but you never answered them, either. You’re awfully quiet…and you’re never quiet. I know you and this isn’t you…don’t lie to me and pretend you’re fine when you clearly aren’t. Y/N, we miss you. _I_ miss you. So, please…tell me what’s wrong.”

He didn’t tell you outright, but he knew something was up. You’d lost the light in your eyes you always had, eyes that once glittered with excitement now showed hardly any traces of emotion. You didn’t smile when you made eye contact with him, something he’d grown to miss greatly since your absence.

“I-I don’t know. Everything’s wrong—” All your words got lost in the rising sobs that crawled up your throat, your bottom lip trembling as you anxiously picked at your nails. He felt his heart sink to his stomach. It occurred to him that he’d never seen you cry before—not in front of him, at least. And it hurt. It _hurt,_ and he swore there was almost nothing he hated more than seeing you like this.

He acts on instinct and doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace. You choked on a sob as your arms slid up his back and his tightly encircled your waist. And in a way, it was comforting, almost as if his touch alone was slowly but surely lifting the weight that had heavily sat upon your shoulders for so long.

The sun was just beginning to set by the time you finally stopped crying. New York was slowly wrapping up for the day, the city that never slept preparing to take a break. Hours could’ve passed, maybe even days. But Steve didn’t care; he couldn’t care less. All he wanted was to be there for you. He wanted nothing more than to ease the pressure off your shoulders, to lighten the burdens and help carry them, hell, he’d carry it _all_ for you if that’s what it took to see you crack a smile again.

Steve was in love with you and didn’t know how to express it other than through small gestures and forehead kisses…he wasn’t so sure exactly _how_ to do so. Natasha was the first to confront him about his feelings—it was when they’d escaped from the bunker—and he immediately shut the idea down. He was in denial.

He didn’t want to admit it, because it was terrifying. Steve Rogers had taken down countless enemies, had fought in countless battles, but the one thing that scared him more than anything was idea of falling in love.

He glanced down to see you’d fallen asleep, and smiled at the sight.

When you suddenly woke up thrashing about and crying, screaming for someone to help, he was right there, pulling you against him again and holding you and rocking you from side to side to calm you down. He didn’t say anything as you cried hysterically; all he did was wrap you into his arms—like a mother bird taking their child under their wing, shielding them from the dangers of the outside world.

<><><><><><><><><><>

You woke up to aromatic herbal scents drifting through the air. Rubbing your eyes, you sat up and stretched your arms out, looking over to see Steve in the kitchen—he was focused on chopping something up, a focused look on his face with the sleeves of his shirt rolled up.

“Steve? Why are you still here?”

“I wanted to make you dinner. I’d feel bad if I just left,” he explained simply as he dusted off his hands, motioning for you to come over. You pulled up a stool to the island as he rested an elbow on the counter, placing his chin in his hand and gazing at you. “You were running a slight fever, so I gave you medication. Are you feeling okay?”

You let out a yawn. “I’m fine.”

“How are you holding up?”

“Not so well, actually,” you sighed in defeat. “I thought exiling myself and living alone would help, but…it did the opposite.”

“Why did you leave?”

“I couldn’t take it anymore. The survivor’s guilt was getting to me…so I fled,” you muttered. “Everything just went downhill from there. I used to be so adamant on getting at least 7-8 hours of sleep per night, now I’m lucky enough to even get 2 or 3 before the nightmares kick in.”

“You’ve been having nightmares every night and didn’t say anything? Why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come over right away.”

You shook your head. “I didn’t want to burden you.”

“You need to share your burdens in order to lighten them, Y/N. I don’t wanna see you try to handle this alone because frankly, you can’t.” He brought a hand up to your cheek. You leaned into his touch, closing your eyes. “Please don’t shut me out.”

Then, the realization comes to you so suddenly and swiftly, feeling like a hard slap to the face. You were in love with him…your best friend. In love with the man who always had your back on missions. In love with the man who could always find a way to cheer you up no matter how bad of a mood you were in. In love with the man who was always there to check in with you when no one else did…like now.

Your heart raced as you looked up at him again, looking as stunning as ever wearing his form-fitting, long-sleeved black tee and dark jeans. Even after all this time, he never failed to take your breath away—and you realized _this_ was the reason why you’d fled.

You were _afraid—_ afraid of catching feelings, of bringing yourself to admit you were _in love._ With him. You felt like you didn’t deserve any bit of happiness after all you’d been through.

He was just as terrified…if not more. Steve had held back from coming by more times than he could count. Many days he’d stand outside your apartment building, hands stuffed in his pockets as he stared upwards—contemplating whether to go inside and say something or not. But in the end, he always turned away, for the same reason. He was afraid you didn’t reciprocate his feelings—and thus, buried them deep within.

A thick tension awkwardly hung in the air. Neither you nor Steve acknowledged it, but both of you felt it. It was obvious. The tension of both your feelings—those feelings you kept denying to yourselves and harbored away in the fears of being rejected—was now so thick that you could almost reach out and touch the substance itself, as if it was a tangible thing.

His gaze had drifted down to your lips but almost as soon as they did, he snapped out of it. “Uh…hold on. Dinner’ll be ready in a bit.”

You cleared your throat awkwardly. “Okay.”

You uttered a quiet ‘thank you’ as he gave you your plate of food several minutes later. The first few moments were dead silent—the only things that could be heard being the sound of silverware clattering against plates and the occasional sip of a drink. (But damn, could Captain America _cook.)_

A wave of fatigue suddenly crashed over you and hit you like a truck as soon as you finished your last bite—and sensing your tiredness, Steve scooped you up into his arms and carried you to your room, gently laying you down in your bed.

“Stay with me,” you murmured, reaching out and latching your hand around his forearm. “I don’t want to be alone.”

He sighed, but smiled. “Of course, doll.”

Steve slid in under the covers next to you, turning to the side and wrapping his arms around your torso from behind, pulling you close against his chest. You let out an involuntary sigh, allowing your eyes to flutter shut.

“Can I make a confession?”

“Sure…go ahead.”

“I have to be honest with you, I think about you a lot…” you mumbled, now half-asleep. _“All the time, actually. In the morning, at night, in the middle of the day. It’s you. It’s always you.”_

“Me too. I love you, Y/N.”

You turned so that you were facing him, resting your head on his bicep. “I love you too.”

“Just promise me, Y/N, that you won’t keep pushing people away. Let me in…let me be there for you. Because I want to help. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re alone…because I’ll always be here when you need me to be.”

You nodded. “…Okay.”

He smiled softly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “You know, I got no plans tomorrow night. Or, all month.”

“Is that your way of asking me out, Captain?” the corners of your mouth turned up in a smirk.

“Maybe.”

“I could kiss you right now.”

“Then do it,” he breathed out.

You cupped his cheek in one hand and closed the gap, pressing your lips against his. He wasted no time in reacting and placed his hands in between your shoulder blades and at the small of your back to bring you closer to him, deepening the kiss.

If there was anything to describe how you felt at the moment, it was most definitely _sparks—_ and any trace of guilt and sorrow was washed away with the feeling of his soft lips on yours—his warm hands instantly calming you down. For the briefest moment in time, nothing else existed and the world seemed to go on standstill. It was just you and him in that moment, wrapped up in each others’ arms without a single care in the world.

“Go to sleep, I’ll be here in the morning. You need rest,” he whispered as you eventually pulled apart, leaving a lingering kiss to your temple. 

“I love you,” you mumbled. “I love you a lot.”

“I know. I love you more, darling.”

<><><><><><><><><><>

TWO MONTHS LATER

“Y/N! I thought I’d never see you again!” A laughing Natasha came running toward you, crushing you into a tight hug. “I missed you so much.”

You glanced back at Steve, who shot you a small smile as he unloaded your things from the trunk. “Yeah…I figured it was time to come home.”

“Wait.” She froze, and her eyes widened as she glanced down at the diamond ring around your finger. “Are you…oh my god!”

“Yeah,” you grinned, “we are.”

“I better be the made of honor, babe.”

“You bet.”.

“ _And_ godmother.”

"Hey! I thought _I_ had that role!" Wanda argued. 

<><><><><><><><><><>

After you and Steve got engaged and you moved back into the newly refurbished compound with him, it wasn’t like a magical switch had flicked and stopped all the nightmares. Your insomnia still came and went, the nightmares still shook you awake occasionally, but this time, you weren’t alone. He was there, and he made things more bearable. It was easier to get through the day now that you had him by your side. 

And like he promised, you’d never have to shoulder your burdens alone again. 


End file.
